Monday, January 17, 2011
The older I get the more I worry. I don't think that I was ever that much of a worrier growing up but as the time goes by I find more and more that worries me. Maybe it is the fact that I'm a mother. Maybe it's because I'm older and possibly know more about things. Whatever it is...I hate it. I don't want to worry. I wish I was a little more care-free. Especially when it comes to raising my boys, I wish I wasn't so concerned with trivial things. Having two babies at once is a struggle. I wouldn't wish it on anyone (and my boys were AWESOME babies). They have grown up together and have had to be compared since day one. It's not like we intentionally compare but you can't help it. For a long time we worried about Dylan being so skinny and small. I think we were only worried because Charlie was bigger than him. Both boys were "normal" but you had the other to compare to. We're dealing with learning our words right now. Charlie is my talker, therefore, I worry that Dylan isn't smart enough. The boys will be 3 in August. I really want them to go to school right after they turn 5 and not wait the whole year. They're boys, though. I've been told boys are slower to develop, slower to learn, etc. So then I go into super-freakout-mommy-mode and worry that my boys aren't going to be ready and will struggle and it will be awful for both them AND me. But seriously, what will be wrong if I hold them back a year? The boys have cousins their same age and I fall into the comparison problem with them, too. My kids don't count. My kids don't know their ABC's. My kids aren't potty-trained. My kids don't recognize their names written down. BUT my kids are happy. My kids are well-behaved. My kids are friendly. My kids play well with each other and other kids. My kids are silly. My kids are imaginative. All children will learn things when they're ready to learn them. I need to take a "chill-pill" (I know, how long has it been since you've said that!) and just let them be little boys. If we don't go to pre-school next year (or ever) they'll be fine. If we don't quickly learn how to do all those things I mentioned, they'll be fine. It's ok. Take a deep breath. Lets just play. That's what kids are supposed to do anyway, right?? I'm a good mommy. I need to remind me of that every so often.