The end of a year...

I can't hardly believe that 2011 has come and gone. What a quick, busy, happy, crazy, and semi-eventful year. I hope to edit this post in the next day or two to add a little more to it and sum up the last few weeks but it's 11pm New Year's Eve and I have my cute nieces and nephew and hubby waiting for me to watch a movie downstairs. I wanted to quick sneak this in, tho, and just express how grateful I am for this wonderful year. So grateful for my health and the health of my family. I don't think I could ask for more than that. We are good. We are happy. We are together. That's all I need. I'm a simple girl and that just makes me content. Here's to an even better year...starting tomorrow.

Christmas Clean-up

I found this when I was putting away our Christmas decor. Charlie had climbed up and adjusted the nativity. He faced most the statues facing the mirror and baby Jesus must like to sleep on his tummy. Made me laugh.

Christmas!!

After months of preparation and days of anticipation Christmas finally arrived! It was wonderful to actually see Brandt and it was a quiet, restful day for us. We decided this year that we were not going to run around all day like we have in the past and honestly I loved it. We get spread so thin when we have to hit my parents, Brandt's dad's, and Brandt's mom's. We felt it was time to start our own traditions with our own family. We were very blessed and very loved. The twins both got their Mack trucks (from Cars) and O got some books and cars. Another hit was the mailman truck that I found. Brandt wins the award for best surprise as he bought me a beautiful diamond ring. I have told him that I would LOVE it if he would buy me a piece of jewelry. He never has and has said he never would. I'm picky when it comes to that sort of thing and he's been nervous to pick something out. But he did it. And unfortunatly, it was a hair too big and I had to return it. So, maybe we'll try again with sales around Valentine's Day. He is such a good hubby. He takes such good care of our family. We're so lucky to have so many blessings. I'm sad to see the goodness of the holidays be over with. I love that everyone is a little kinder this time of year. I love the smells and sounds that go along with it. Until next year...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, the day is almost gone. Can anything be better than Christmas through the eyes of a 3 year old? Only thing I could guess would be Christmas through the eyes of a 4 year old, or a 5 year old, or a 6 year old...

Don't forget...

Don't forget the other afternoon when you woke up the twins from their nap. They didn't stir when you went into their room so you layed down next to Dylan and put your arm around him and stared at his face. His sweet face. Watched him rub his eyes. Watched his lips smack together. Smelled his breath on my face. Magical. Don't ever forget that moment.

Stay away Grinch!

I woke up this morning motivated. I was going to get my house spik 'n span and have my world in control so that when Daddy gets home from work today we could snuggle up, watch a movie, and wait for Christmas Eve to arrive and have a wonderful Christmas. I got up, swept, mopped, cleaned up extra toys in living room, vacuumed, straightened up downstairs, vacuumed, and felt pretty good about things. I sat down and called Brandt to check in and see how he was.

Thats when the blow came. This morning the piece of crap Post Office informed him that he was going to be mandated to work tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't care, but because we were told he would have it off and made plans then to have it ripped out from under us is what makes me so incredibly mad. One of the carriers (who is a real gem to begin with) called in sick for 2 days, Friday and Saturday, so Brandt has to work because she is such a blankety-blank. I understand being sick, but this lady called in sick last Christmas, too, and calls in sick around any holiday. So because of her selfishness my kids's Daddy won't be around for our Christmas parties. So, so, so angry. I've tried to let it fizzle and not let it get to me, but here I sit fighting back the tears. It just makes my heart heavy and rushes away that Christmas Spirit.

This compiled with a few other things going on in our lives is about all I can bear. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to "Christmas-up" my house. I don't want to be nice to my kids. I don't want to move. I'm ready to shut the doors, close the shades, and welcome the hermit life.

Why oh why was the timing so great for this one? Seriously....

Zoolights

Last year we wanted to go to Zoolights and for one reason or another we never made it. This year I was determined that we would go. Sooooo, we picked the coldest day ever and made our way up to the ol' Hogle Zoo. It was FREEZING I tell you, FREEZING!!! My parents went up with us and Craig's kids came and so did Brenda. A lot of fun, but it was nice to get back in the warm car, too. Was it just me or was December exceptionally cold? Brrrrrrrrr

What a whirlWIND of a week

I've needed to sit down and write down a few things about last week, and what a week it was. Exactly two days after a visit to nursery (perfect incubation time) I was awakened in the middle of the night by Charlie who had puked all over his bed. So I got up and gave him a bath, cleaned up the "chunkies," sterilized his bedframe and put all his blankets and animals in the wash. I put him back to bed and that was the end of that. He acted just normal after that.

We had our relief society activity Wednesday night so I was busy most of that day with church related things. That day we received an email stating that the storm blowing in was going to be a doosy and to make sure everything outside was put away. I thought it'd be a little windy but had no idea.

That next morning Brandt yelled for me to come upstairs to see the storm. Our BBQ had been blown into the grass, the cover missing (later to be found against the fence), the window on the side of our garage broken, shingles all over the yard, and a million apples and leaves on the ground. I have never seen continual wind like that. I just sat down in front of our large front window and watched the wind. Our neighbors siding was flapping in the wind. Garbage from dumped garbages and recycle bins flying all over. Trees bending in half (and to be found out later being completely uprooted). Shortly after coming upstairs our power went off. So that morning we did our best to keep the refridgerator closed and stay bundled up. We played card games. We played with our blocks. We drove our little cars. We read books. I put the boys down for a nap and decided that when they woke up we would go to my mom's house to sleep over since the temperature in our house kept dropping. When we finally left the thermostat said it was 57 degrees. Not too bad but I knew that after the cold night, we'd wake up to an even colder house. So - off we went to Salt Lake. Once I made it to the freeway, no problem. All the lights were out in Bountiful.

The next morning Brandt let me know the power was back on and we could go on home. We left my mom's just after lunch and as I was pulling into Bountiful, Dylan puked all over himself, great. I had cleaned him up and put everyone down for a nap. Cleaned up the carseat and the car while they all slept and then when I got Oliver from his nap, he was covered in puke. Sweet.

As soon as I got off the freeway that afternoon you could see the damage. The Taco Time sign was gone. The debris was everywhere. In my home I could hear all the chainsaws going continually. Just strange. A few of our neighbors had big pines fall down on their homes. We live behind the Bountiful Cemetary and they lost a bunch of pines. Friday night I had run out to get some milk and drove by and was just in awe. The huge root-balls just up in the air. I had ment to go over and take some pictures but with my three little ones it was hard to get the motivation to leave the house.

I started to feel crummy Saturday night and all day yesterday. Apparently we gave it to my mom, too, as she was puking all Saturday night, too. I finally took some pictures on my drive over to take Brandt his lunch this morning. A lot of clean-up has already taken place so my pictures don't do it justice.

Our church cancelled all meetings except Sacrament so that everyone could help with cleaning up our boundaries. Brandt took I think 3 loads in his truck and trailer to the dump. His last load he waited until later in the day since the line to dump was FOREVER long. He had backed up his truck and trailer and whoever loaded up his truck had branches all over so he couldn't see terribly well. So, he hit a van with his trailer. I guess the light covering of his trailer dragged against this old van and made a 2 inch gash. Awesome. We'll have to wait and see if these people file a claim. He said the van was at least a dozen years old but honestly? Just what we needed. A few hundred dollar service project. Fantastic. So that was the icing on the cake to an eventful week. Hopefully we'll be back to normal and able to widdle away our list to be ready for the big holiday coming up.

Here's a large tree at the cemetary:
This is a home on Brandt's route. I bet it was a large one by the size of the stump. This is on Brandt's route, too. Are you kidding me? It's obvious what happened...It's hard to tell but this tree is split in half. The top half is laying on the building.Here's the other corner of the same building. When I drove by Friday night the HUGE pine was laying on the building. You can see the damage to the roof and they layed the root-ball back in the ground so it wasn't a huge, gaping hole. Brandt actually lived in this apartment complex as a child I think the bottom window was theirs.More cemetary mess.

Been awhile

I hate when I don't stay up on my blogging because that means that many days have past that I haven't recorded any snippets of our crazy life. We've been busy playing and working and all of a sudden Thanksgiving is gone and we're running into Christmas. It's so sad how after Halloween the rest of the year just melts away.

The boys are good. They're growing way.to.fast. We took little Oliver into nursery yesterday for the first time. He technically isn't supposed to be in until mid-January but we thought we'd try it out this month since the twins will be in there for this month. And then they're in SUNBEAMS. Ok, please pause a minute...WHAT??? Oh man, it's too soon for mamma-bear. I'm not gonna handle them getting big so well. I already know I'm gonna tear up everytime I look out over the piano in primary and see my own kiddos. Just surreal. Don't even make me be there when they give their first talk or prayer. I'll be a sobbing idiot. But back to Oliver. He did so so so good. I took him in and he just sat there and played...didn't care that I was there...so I just snuck on out. Brandt went to get him after the 1st hour and they told him to leave him since he was doing so well. He said they were having snack and Dylan, Charlie, and Oliver were all sitting there at the table next to each other. The cutest thing ever. I went to check on him after our music time and they again told me to leave and that he was fine, so, he did great. When I went to get them after church they told me that he was so good that they'd just keep him. That's my Oliver-kid. He's just the perfect little guy. We're so lucky to call him ours.

Last week we snuck away to St. George for a little break. B had the week off so we ran away. My parents joined us and it was great. The boys always wanted to sit on the cooler rather than a chair and we enjoyed playing with the glass table. Yuck - handprint nightmare. We did a little of this. And a little of that. And some of this. (Or tried to do some of this. We can get a step or two out of him but that's it. Why walk when you can crawl?)

And some of that. It was a lot of fun. We also took our 4wheeler down and played on that, too, but I never took out my camara. On our way home we stopped and saw some of our favorite people and let the boys jump on their "jumper."

We drove home on Thanksgiving. We had to come back on Friday for the Ute game so we figured what's a day, so we came back and had dinner with B's fam. After the crappy game it probably would have been to our benefit to stay the entire week, but oh well.

And just a last little story. I was putting the twins in their room for a nap just a minute ago and Dylan saw his "daddy pants" (basketball shorts - he LOVES them cause that's what daddy wears to lounge around). He wanted to wear them and I kept saying "no-o" in a sing-songy voice. He promptly replied "ye-es" in a sing-songy voice. Man I love those kids. Constant hilarity. Is that a word? Today it is.

Yea for this time of year when people are kinder, blessings are noticed, and a wonderful spirit resides.

Did I miss something?

It's November. I think I've missed October. And September. Crazy that it is already time to begin to think winter. It's nice that the snow waited until this morning instead of raining on trick-or-treat night like usual. I feel like I've been in such a rut lately and all I've been blogging about is how it's just been rough being a mom. But alas, it is not always doom and gloom. I have really, really, really have been enjoying my boys as of late. They are so funny and so kind and so obedient. Yes, we have our moments (quite a lot of them) but overall they are really great little boys. They've been so excited with all the Halloween hubbabaloo and it's made my heart smile. For a moment last night while we were out wandering our neighborhood I felt a little guilty for not being home to pass out candy, but then realized that being out with the boys running up to our neighbors houses screaming 'Trick-or-Treat' was where I wanted to be. While they're so young and innocent and learning the ropes of Halloween it's fun to be there and a part of it. It, like everything else, will be a fleeting moment that I want to be a part of, relish in, and enjoy. Needless to say, it was a hit, we've eaten WAY too much candy, and I'm ready to think about Thanksgiving. Not quite ready for the colder weather, but on the bright side, one day it will be spring again so I can hang in there. How grateful I am to be where I am in my life. How grateful I am for our daily struggles. How grateful I am for the happy moments my little boys bring to me. How grateful I am for the upcoming season. I hope to remember that gratitude feeling throughout the rest of the year.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween to you and yours! I carved all 3 pumpkins we had. Can you even believe that? Me either. I honestly don't think I've carved a pumpkin since being married. The few times we've had a pumpkin I've made Brandt do it. I guess it was payback this year. Not to shabby if I do say so myself! My twinners are fast asleep. I told them they had to take a good nap if they wanted to go trick or treating. Nothing like bribing your kids!

I am a loser...

I did it. I won. I am the biggest loser! My cute step-cousin-in-law-once removed-somethin', somethin' organized a little Biggest Loser competition. I figured it would be good motivation for me to lose that extra poundage that I couldn't shake with Oliver. I didn't think I had a prayer to win it all being that I didn't have a TON to lose but lucky for me I pulled it off. The last week of the competition I don't think I ate and was always hungry but it allowed me to sneak on by the leader. So there, I'm a loser. Bet you wish you were one, too!

Guess what I did to day. I wrapped about 15 christmas presents. That's right. It's not even Halloween yet? That's ok. Just means I'm that much closer to being ready for the big day. Stress-free holidays, people! I'm gonna enjoy it. Christmas done early, check. Christmas done on a tight budget, check. Extra time to enjoy the beauty, spirit, and love this time of year, check. A little extra moo-lah in the bank since I'm a "loser", check.

Did you know?

Did you know that I love fall? Did you know that I love my boys? Did you know that I love my husband? Did you know that I love where I live? Did you know that I love to "craft"? Did you know that I love HGTV? Did you know that I love fall...oh, I think I mentioned that? Did you know I love pumpkins and orange and browns and leaves and baking and everything that goes with this time of year? I really think I'd be so happy if it was just like it is right now all year long. It makes me happy.

{TEN}

3 Residences + 6 Cars + 7 Jobs + 3 Kids + 1 Pet =

best 10 years of my life

Love you honey. So glad I get you FOREVER!!!

Update to previous post...

I spent the day at Discovery Gateway with my mom and sister. I've decided that maybe my life at home picking up stuff here and there is not nearly as bad as I thought it was. Those poor employees have that as their entire job, 8 hours straight. Picking up after OTHER people's children. That would be way worse. At least I like my kids and share their same cooties.

Clean, clean, clean...

Ok, you mothers out there, how do you do it? Last week when B & I went out I cleaned up our house since we were having sitters over. I worked all afternoon getting it all straightened up and then after the boys were up from their naps I felt like a crazy person running around after the kids trying to get them to not make a mess. I swear, 2 seconds, and the house is a disaster. It's frusterating to B that it seems I only do a super good clean when we have company over, but I am cleaning all day long every day. We make breakfast, and CLEAN up. The boys play, and we CLEAN up. We make lunch, and CLEAN up. We play some more, and CLEAN up. We make dinner, and we CLEAN up. We play some more, and we CLEAN up. This isn't including the little projects I work on and CLEAN up or the normal upkeep of the house which includes CLEANING. When we go over to someone's house it is beautifully kept and all straightened up. Is my house seriously the only one that ever is messy? How do you contain your children to not make a mess? Or, are you just like everyone else and I only see your house primped and prettied up for company? I'm starting to feel like a horrible homemaker since I can't get it all together. I don't want to rule with an iron fist and not let my kids be kids and play and be creative but maybe I'm too lienient? I don't know. It's a wonder that I have people tell me that my children are good because I'm clearly a moron when it comes to raising children. I feel like I keep repeating "I don't know." No answers for me. Clueless. I guess in the meantime I will just keep cleaning up 40 times a day and try to contain the mess without being too much of a crazy person.

And next time we come to your house would you please make sure it is a mess so that Brandt will think that the effort I'm putting out is ok. You all are making me look bad!!!

Deep Thoughts by Drea

Brandt and I went out last night and saw two legends play together. What a great show! As we were sitting in Kingsbury Hall enjoying these two old men sing and play their guitars I actually let my mind go. It occured to me that my mind has a million thoughts, great thoughts, that go through it each day and because I'm so busy running, caging, screaming, preparing, wiping, cleaning, organizing, screaming, playing, corraling, screaming, and working my thoughts aren't even clear to myself! It was truly nice to just sit, enjoy the ambiance, hold my man's hand, and relax. I don't do that anymore. There is WAY too much to do all the freakin' time.

Merle wrote a song about age. In it he talked about how youth is wasted on the youth and he would love to be 30 again. I am 30. It brought tears to my eyes because I had an "ah-ha" moment that I need to relish in these times. I mean really enjoy it and be aware of it. Not rushing. Not screaming. Not stressing. I am not old. I feel old sometimes and in another 30 years I don't want to think this time was wasted. The past few years have been such a blur that I need to take a deep breath, a step back, and truck along being aware. Aware of each special tender moment in my life. And to add to it, I need to record more of those moments since I know that those memories drift away as the years go by.

On a different note, I've canned 10 quarts of pears, 7 quarts of applesauce, and have a half a box still left of my pears. I'm trying to get the drive to do another batch of pears but I'm not doing too well with the motivation! Maybe I'll straighten up, or take a short nap, or crochet for a minute and then go for round two. Such beautiful weather right now. I love fall. I love football season. I love my 4 boys.

Reflection

There are moments throughout each day that I think "I need to write this down" and then there is never time to do it. So, today here are just a couple things I need to record.

1. Oliver loves balls. It's pretty much the only word he says (ba) and he chases any ball around the house like a kitten. Before I put him in his crib for his pm nap we played and played in the living room with a basketball. He gets so excited, and giggles, and squirms all around trying to get the ball, throw the ball, and hug the ball. It is adorable.

2. I attempted storytime at the library this morning. We failed miserably. The boys lasted about a total of 2 minutes before we had to go pee. Once in the bathroom they were "fine." And then back to the room, followed by Charlie pulling keys out of my bag and trying to lock the door and Dylan playing with his fake cell phone he snuck into the library. We left. I told them they were naughty and we had to go home. They asked if Oliver was naughty and I said no. So while we were driving home Charlie was telling Dylan that they both were naughty but Oliver wasn't. It was hilarious.

3. Last night as Brandt and I were lying in bed he was telling me that while I was helping Charlie go to the bathroom before bed he was in talking with Dylan. Dylan pointed to B's nose and said "nose" and then pointed to his nose, then his elephant's nose, then Charlie's bear's nose. They then moved on to tails and then to feet. Dylan pulled one of his feet out and said "foot" and then pulled out his other foot and said "more foots." Cutie.

4. I sat in my kitchen this afternoon and fed O his applesauce while he was crawling around. The twins came in, too, and sat down and we all played and they crawled all over me. I had a moment. I really am so lucky to be able to sit there with my own children and watch them. There are so many who don't get to do that and I don't know that I'll be able to forever. I need to let those moments soak in so the other times when I'm losing my sanity I can reflect back to those thoughts.

Tomatoes & Apples

Guess what I did today?!? I canned. That's right. Canned. All by myself. Self-taught, never had a lesson...ok, not completely true. I've been around canning but never really paid much attention. So I sorta had an idea of what took place. A nice woman in my neighborhood shared her tomatoes with me since my FIVE tomato plants have produced a whopping 2 tomatoes and I canned them up today. Not a ton, but I got 5 bottles out of it and had only one hiccup where 2 of my bottles didn't seal so I'm re-processing those right now. So I feel like Suzy Homemaker, so proud. Not as intimidated anymore with the whole canning monster. And guess what this is? An apple off my tree. The secret is now out that I have never just eaten an apple off my tree. I've picked up a ba-zillion off the ground but never partook. I've been told by many how good my apples are and I must say...they are quite tasty. Got lots up my sleeve to do with those. Apple Butter, Applesauce, Apple Crisp....mmmmmmmmm.....

Give.Me.Strength.

It's been one of those days...who are we kidding? It's been one of those months. I don't want to be all "debbie downer" on here, but man, oh man, it's been a rough go the past little while. I figure this is my journal so I can just write it out as it is. I just texted B that I feel as though I'm failing as a mother today. I'm sitting here at the kitchen table while dinner is finishing up in the oven and D, C, & O are all sitting around the table with me munching on Cheerios cause they can't wait for dinner.

I feel myself drowning sometimes. I get so bombarded with little ones that I turn into a 3 year old, too. It is a battle each day to be the grownup, the patient one, the teacher, the playmate, and the mommy. I tell myself that if I can just get myself together I'll be a much better mom & wife. But the struggle is to find what "together" is. Is it a tidier home? Is it exercise? Is it a shower and actually doing my hair and make-up? Is it time away from my Groundhog Day of a life I live? Life is all about balance and I need to figure out MY balance. I know for every person, every mommy, it's a little different.

We're all of a sudden struggling big time with the whole potty thing. We were so good at going in the potty, even at night, and then we went to Bear Lake and it hasn't been the same since. I'm usually changing at least one of the boys each night and there are sporatic accidents during the day. I refuse to do pull-ups at this point. I don't want to incur the cost. It just seems silly to me since I know they're capable of not wetting themselves. I need to print out another sticker chart I suppose and see if that maybe will solve the issue along with being stricter about no drinking after maybe 6 or so. It's so hard not to get mad at them for going in their underwear. Ergh.

And whining...when did we start whining?!? All.The.Time!!! I cannot stand it.

And no sleeping?!? I know that's why they're whining. How do you make your kiddies sleep in a little longer to get their MUCH needed sleep? With the two of them in the same room, one gets up and up goes the other one, too. So frusterating.

One day maybe I'll have the answers. I hope so. Or at least the endurance to make it to the point where they've passed the terrible threes.

ps-no comments regarding my mothering skills please. I'm not fishing for compliments or anything. Just a vent session. xo

Family Pictures

The more kids we have the harder it is to have family pictures cause I hate figuring out what to wear. Am I not a girl, or what?? A little over a month ago we had pictures done. The main purpose was to get 3 year old pictures of the twins and 1 year old pictures of O, and as long as we were taking their pictures we figured we'd throw in a few of mom & dad, too. I think they turned out pretty cute. We're always our own harshest critic. I cannot believe I have little boys. Not babies, little boys. They try me every single day and it's tough but in the same breath so rewarding. They're all getting so very smart and they're so funny. Not to mention, so very cute!! Their individual pictures are to the side. And probably my favorite...

officially FREAKING out!

I've lost it. I've lost my coupon binder. I cannot find it anywhere. I've been looking for the last few days and it has not shown up. I can't imagine me leaving it in a cart of something at the store but I swear I've looked high and low in my house. I keep telling myself that I put it somewhere "where I won't forget" and then forgot and it will just show up and I'll say "oh, yeah...that's where I put it" but my faith is diminishing. So sad. How do you lose your coupon binder?!? Maybe I should've been using more of them. And to boot, I lose it right after all the back to school sales where I could have bought a new one at a discount. Timing. Boy do I have it!

I'm in the living room right now and the boys are supposed to be napping. Charlie is singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" to his brother. Those kids are hilarious! And Go Utes! That's it.

Birthday Cake!

As soon as the boys woke up yesterday all they kept asking for was Birthday Cake. I had a recipe for a from-scratch cake that I have been wanting to try so I thought it'd be the perfect excuse. Knowing how helpful my kiddies are I was planning on putting them down for a nap and making the cake then.

So, according to plan, I put the boys down but lucky for me, they were not interested in sleeping yesterday. I started mixing the ingredients and had made my suger mixture, my dry ingredients mixture and the recipe called for buttermilk and since I didn't have any from the store I had my bowl of milk I was turning into buttermilk. While I was mixing the sugar mixture Charlie was at his door yelling "my birthday cake", "my cake", etc. Then it changed to "I have to go pee, I have to go pee!"

So, I stopped where I was at and got him out to go pee. I told Dylan to stay in bed. As soon as I finished with Charlie, Dylan came out and said he had to go poop. So, I told Charlie to go to bed and I helped Dylan take care of business. As I finished with D, Charlie came around the corner from the kitchen and said "make my birthday cake." I shut their door, went into the kitchen to discover my box of baking soda was now empty. I got Charlie back out of his room and asked him what he did. I asked him if he dumped it into the milk since my sugar mixture was still intact and I was praying it wasn't into the dry ingredients. He said yes, I stuck my hand in the bowl of milk, and sure enough, it was full of baking soda. Luckily for me, that was the easiest to fix, but come on! Even when they're "napping" I can't get crap done. So I finished mixing and baking and took the two rounds out of the oven. I had put them on a wire rack to cool and Dylan didn't sleep so I let him out of his room early. He saw the cakes and I told him not to touch and that they weren't ready. We went downstairs to clean up and while I was vacuuming he had snuck upstairs. I came upstairs to find this. He had taken a bite and I had two toothpicks to test the cake and he shoved those into the cake. Such wonderful helpers I have. So - if you're thinking about baking at my house, probably not such a good idea. WAY too helpful! Here's the finished product. Happy Birthday Boys!! And this is what we did at 10:30 last night. Oh the joys of homeownership! Jealous?!?

**THREE**

My dearest Dylan & Charlie,

You are 3 today. 3 years old is so grown up! I have been reminiscing quite a bit lately about you two. I've been thinking back to the years before you came to join our family, the adventures as we prepared to welcome you into our family, and the utter joy and excitement and craziness that has ensued after your arrival to this earth. I am so humbled and honored to be your mommy. There are many times that I feel inept and overwhelmed but you still seem to love me througout all the mistakes I make raising you.

There were many years that your daddy and I prayed for you. There were many years that I didn't think I'd be able to have a baby. There were many years that I lived in a bit of anger and resentment that things were not on "my timeframe" and with so many unanswered questions. We had to be patient for you and because of it, we learned so much. Not only were we blessed to have both my guys join our family at once but your daddy and I experienced some of the most spiritual moments in our lives. It's funny how after time has passed you are able to reflect back and see how things happen for a reason, how things fall into place just like they're supposed to. From daddy getting a new job, to a new calling in church, to a mission call, to a crazy work schedule coupled with the faith and prayers and fasts from so many that love you oh so much, it was finally time for you to come into our lives.

You both are so good. Right from the beginning people have commented about your kind, warm eyes. We joked when you were little as you'd stare at a stranger that you'd have to "read their soul" before you'd warm up to them. You both did this. So deep. So caring. So fresh from your Father in Heaven. You both took a little while to start talking (who would have thought that now!) and for so long you both would just observe the world around you. You play so well together and I know that I took it for granted that you always just had a playmate. I've never known anything different so I didn't realize what a blessing this is. You have always shared so well. You have always been quick to apologize if you hurt another. You (almost) always are quick to obey.

As good as you both are we've had some crazy fun, too. With the two of you bringing your best plans together we've had some good stories. I can only imagine the genius ideas that are going to come to form throughout the years. From 5 gallons of oil on our carpet to torn up beds/bedrooms during naptimes we've had some good laughs (after the fact). So creative you are. You are quite brilliant and I love how you both think. I love your innocence and your thirst for knowledge. I love that you strive to do good. I love your willingness to love, especially your little brother. I'm so lucky that you have been amazing to the little man that suddenly disrupted your lives. You all will be the best of friends through the years and be each other's watch-keeper. I just know it. It is instilled in you. You are the best of the best. I am so lucky to have you and spend each day with you. I am so excited for the future and all it holds. I wish you the best 3rd year. Thank you for letting me be your mommy. I love you with every ounce of my being.

Happy Birthday little buddies!!! xoxoxo

I HATE DIRECTV!

A couple weeks ago a satellite company sales rep came to my door and convinced me to switch our satellite services. They switched us to Directv and we HATE it! I tried to get it switched to something we could deal with for 24 months and after getting the run around for 2 weeks I finally was told today that I've missed our opportunity to do anything about it because I was being avoided and dealing with the wrong people for all this time. I was hysterical. I was so mad. I was all upset about it...not cause I have Directv but because I feel like I was taken for. I still get worked up thinking about it. The few people I talked to today on the phone probably think I'm a looney. I must be hormonal right now cause I was a mess. So the moral of the story is...I hate them and cannot wait for our contract to be up in 2 whole years. I don't hate anyone but I hate them. I wrote them a nasty letter and mailed it out. It made me feel a teensy bit better. The end.

{twinisms}

Oh how little kids say the cutest things. One of my favorite things Charlie says is his response if I ever call him bud, buddy, dude, etc. He responds with "I not Dude, I Charlie." It catches me off guard most the time as I'm not paying attention when I say it. One of my favorite things Dylan says is hamburger. I'll ask him what he wants for dinner and he'll say "I want a hom (space) burger (with the emphasis on 1st syllable opposed to the 2nd in burger)". And last but not least (not a twinism but must be noted regardless), I think Oliver says "dad" and "ball". Dad sounds like "Da..Da" and ball is just "ba". I'm pretty sure he is saying that as he'll be holding a ball when he does it or when daddy gets home from work.

There is a thief among us!

I had to go grocery shopping today and with Brandt working so much I don't have time to go at night (that's my only time to spend with him so I am selfish and don't want to leave for an hour or whatever). Anyway, I ventured out with my three little ones. We hit up the Smith's first and got what we needed and I ran home and threw the cold items into the fridge before heading on over to Dick's. I thought Smiths would be the tougher one since Dick's has the little truck/carts. We did ok until we go to the checkout and the checker wanted the cart to go through backwards (he mumbled something about his back hurting and didn't want to bend over...whatever that means). Right there in front of the twins in the truck was a sucker display. I kept saying "no, put that back", "we're not getting suckers", "get back in the truck", "sit down"...you get the idea. He finally finished ringing us up and off we went. I loaded the car with the groceries and told the boys to hop up in the car while I was loading Oliver in. C pointed to D's pocket and said "sucker." I asked Dylan if he had one and he admitted. So...out came Oliver and I took all the boys back in so that D could give the sucker back to the guy and say sorry. I had to pry the sucker out of his hand and Dylan sobbed all the way back to the car and for about 20 minutes after we were home. I don't know if any of it sunk in. We keep talking about how you can't have things at the store unless we buy them and that he needs to ask mommy or daddy. We'll probably visit this again in the future...how did my babies get old enough to start ripping off the store???

The unspeakable phrase

I said it. I said the unspeakable phrase this morning. I'm not allowed to say "Am I not allowed to have anything nice?!" Apparently that was a common one aimed towards Brandt when he was a little tyke so it's forbidden at our house. But, alas, it came out of my mouth this morning. I cleaned my car this morning and thought I'd let the boys play outside for a little bit (which they always beg me for). I brought out my little crochet project and pulled up a chair. Charlie had gone inside and I asked D what C was doing and he said "toys" and I said "he's playing with toys?" and he said "yes". Ok, that's fine. A few minutes later D had to go to the bathroom so he ran inside and Charlie came out with my baggie of cinnamon chips (used to make Cinna-burst Bread) that my neighbor had given me. He said "chocolate" and I said "no" and as he got closer I screamed "and why is it wet????" He had pulled his chair up to the cabinet he knows he's not supposed to get into, pulled out the bag of what he thought was chocolate chips, which he knows he's not supposed to get into, and then took it to the sink and put water in the baggie, which he knows he's not supposed to touch. And those few words slipped out of my mouth. I was so so so mad. You leave them alone for 2 minutes...make that seconds...and the whole house comes down. Welcome to my life.

ps - the picture is from the other day. 1st bath with all three boys together. Oliver thought it was somethin' else. He LOVES to be big and be one of the boys.

{sigh}

I need a break. I need a break from reality. When I was working full time and it was just the 2 of us, when I got overwhelmed I would want to go to a movie to tune out my life. We don't get to go to movies anymore. It's too much work to find a sitter and scrape together enough pennies to pay the sitter and pay to go out. We do occasionally, but not near as often as we should. B was sick all weekend up until he went back to work on Wednesday and so I was "on duty" with my 4 boys and I think it's caught up to me. I am in a funk and I need to get out. When I should be taking a nap with my boys I can't because there's so much to do, but I'm too tired to do any of it so it's a vicious cycle. I need to just take a deep breath and change my attitude and move forward again. Do you ever do that or am I the only one that cycles through this? Feeling like something is missing but you just can't put your finger on it? I don't know. Maybe I'll figure it out one of these days.

I got a pattern the other day to make bowties. I thought I'd add a few of those to my repertoire of craftiness. I also found a website that shows how to do suspenders. There was a lady at the market that asked me about kid suspenders and I thought that might be fun to try, too. But...I need to umph to do it. Need a little ambition.

The other day I was thinking about posting, since I haven't been so diligent lately and I really need to pick it up again. So, I am going to try to post more frequently again like I did at the beginning of the year. It will mostly just be the ramblings of my mind, more for me than for anyone else that stumbles onto this site. There is my warning.

And lastly, this is part of the fun we've had around here. This little guy is very busy, just like the older two. He seems to think this is his favorite place to be. I think he feels big that he can get up onto the fireplace but what a mess. His brothers did this, too, so I am hopeful that he will grow out of it quickly. What a funny little boy...

Happy Birthday...

To my one and only. You are my everything. I love you more every day I get to spend with you. You may not like this day but it is one of my most cherished. xoxo

Birthday party anyone?

Every 1 year old needs a party and Oliver had his. On Sunday we had both sides of our family over for a little BBQ, cake and ice cream to celebrate Baby O's big day. It was a pretty warm day but it was nice to have a little sprinkling of rain and a bit of cloud cover. It seems to be that anytime we plan a party at our house we have unusual weather, be it the first snow of the season the first week of October, to downpours the last week of August. I don't know that we've ever had a "perfect weather" party. Besides that, it was wonderful. Our families are incredible and we're so grateful for those that came to share your love with our babe. Oliver slept through dinner, and once he was awake, he wasn't quite sure about things. In fact, he was quite concerned. We sat him down to eat his cake and he was not happy. He dantily tried his cake and thought about it for a minute (still concerned) so Daddy helped him out. It was good. He liked it. We sucked and sucked on our fingers. Mom, have you tried this stuff? Why have you been holding out on me? Delicious! The end product. Sugar coma has set in. Ok, I'm done, can we play? Happy, Happy Birthday Oliver! We love you!